Monday, July 4, 2011

Merle Prepares for a Night on the Town

Merle is asleep on the soiled mattress. It is positioned on the floor in the living room in the spot where the sofa used to be prior to being repossessed. The television plays static, punctuated by occasional snippets of random speech.

Merle  awakes in the late afternoon. After relieving himself, he changes his sweat-stained tank top and showers and then shaves, carefully trimming the corners of his mustache. He brushes his teeth and applies antiperspirant to his oily armpits.

Merle then buttons up his red, silk shirt, pulls on his very tight jeans and puts his gold chain necklace on. During one brief return to the bathroom, Merle applies a generous amount of styling gel to the remnant of his hair.

Strutting proudly, Merle, filled with excitement, makes his way to the new disco, eager to scope out the beautiful women certain to attend the establishment's opening night.

When he arrives, however, Merle discovers that forty years have passed and that the disco has long since shut down.

Falling to his knees in rage and despair, Merle prays for Zeus to curse his father, Kronos. Zeus obliges, setting free Prometheus at last and forcing Kronos to take on the Titan's original punishment of being chained to a rock whilst an eagle eats his liver. To add insult, Zeus forces Kronos to do so in women's clothing.

Merle, seeing an opportunity, asks to have his genitals enlarged as a form of restitution. Zeus, however, has grown old and lost much of his power and mental focus, and mistakenly transforms Merle's genitals into the head of a golden retriever.

Merle is struck by painful irony when he finds that the dog barks when it sees beautiful women and that women always find it both charming and arousing, yet due to the nature of the thing he can no longer have sexual experiences.

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